Marriage and Sacrifice

“As we give, we find that “sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven!” (Hymns, no 147.) And in the end, we learn it was no sacrifice at all.” -Spencer W. Kimball

There is a story about an elderly couple who had married for many, many years. The wife loved having her nails painted but just could not see well enough to do it anymore. For the remaining five years that they were able to be together, the husband took on the task of painting her nails for her so that she could have this one pretty thing. Even though she could barely see her nails she could feel her husband’s love for her because of this simple act (Joseph B. Wirthlin, 2007.) This kind of love is the kind that serves and sacrifices unselfishly. 

When we sacrifice out of love, the sacrifice doesn’t feel like a sacrifice at all. It is a privilege. I wake up every morning at 4:15 a.m. to get my children off to seminary and school. My mornings are pretty busy and I don’t get back home until after 7:00am. This is just fine with me because I am a morning person. I also love a clean home and often get anxious if the house is messy. My husband puts up with my obsession with patience. I think he likes a clean home too. With this in mind, every morning, while I’m off shuttling kids about, he makes our bed. He recognizes that this means a lot to me. My husband has a tight morning schedule and the sacrifice he makes to make the bed in the morning means more than just a clean room. It tells me he cares about me. 

Likewise, when we were first married, my husband and I had to make some big financial decisions. Should we both finish our college classes or should I work to put him through college? Although I love learning and desired to continue my education, I chose to set that aside so my husband could get his degree. This may sound like a sacrifice but it never felt like one since we were reaching for a common goal. His happiness in his accomplishments was my happiness. I was glad to be of help and support during that time. Now he helps me in my educational goals and we both support and strengthen each other. Is all this a sacrifice? We could selfishly argue about who needs to take the kids to their activities or who has to make dinner each night but we both understand and cooperate for our collective happiness. When we make our spouse’s happiness our happiness, we can truly say that it wasn’t a sacrifice at all. 

Kimball, S. W. (1978). Becoming the Pure in Heart. Retrieved February 11, 2020, from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1978/04/becoming-the-pure-in-heart?lang=eng

 Wirthlin, J. B. (2007). The Great Commandment. Retrieved February 11, 2020, from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2007/10/the-great-commandment?lang=eng