Money Matters
I am a saver. My husband is a spender. I want to feel secure in my finances and make sure we have enough for a rainy day. My husband likes to be spontaneous and splurge sometimes. We have fought for years about whose financial philosophy is right. Dave Ramsey would call me a “nerd” and my husband a “free spirit”. When trying to compromise on money matters, he has this advice, “Disagreements over the budget are normal. The key for working through them and coming out alive is learning how your different views on money can complement one another.”
He lays out several rules we can follow whether we are the nerd or the free spirit:
Rules for the nerd:
Listen to the free spirit
Let your spouse contribute
Keep it brief
Rules for the free spirit:
Show up to the meeting
Contribute your opinions
Be realistic
As we follow these rules, we can use the strengths of the other to work together to manage the finances of the home. I know that as we have come to see each other’s side of the coin we were able to appreciate what each of us brings to the table. I had to first start listening to what my husband really needed from his hard-earned paycheck. I also had to understand where he was coming from when it came to the rules that he inherited from his upbringing. For example, I don’t ever pay more than $30 on a pair of shoes but my husband, even though he was raised in a lower-class situation like me, never settled on “cheap” shoes. This was something that was very important to his mother and she always made sure that he had good quality shoes to wear. In time, my husband has been able to respect my need for security and stability and has been more careful and deliberate about his money spending habits. This compromise and understanding have really helped us to eliminate tension in our marriage. I know that it can help you too!
Sources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viN-8kK0Ai4
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