Do I want to be right or do I want to be married?

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great." Doctrine and Covenants 64:33

How many times have you found yourself nagging and getting on to your husband about the way he does the laundry? Have you heard a young toddler say, “Mom doesn’t do it that way”? We all seem to have a certain way that we do things and often times we think our way is the best way. 

When I was a newlywed, I received some advice that has proven to be invaluable throughout the years. I was told to try to avoid nagging and becoming my husband’s “second mother”. The specific advice was not to worry about how my husband completes a chore but to focus on the most important thing, that the chore gets done. Often, I wanted to jump in and tell my husband how to best mop the floor or the proper way to fold the laundry. I recognized that I did not want to take on that role of nagging and hovering over my husband. Following this advice was really my first lessons in changing my ideas of marriage from the temporal to a more eternal perspective. Does my husband’s eternal soul depend on whether he folded the hand towels correctly? When it came down to it, I had to ask myself, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be married?” I wanted to turn toward my husband, not away from him. In a sense I was allowing room for love and acceptance in my marriage. God is ever so patient with us. Ezra Taft Benson, 13^th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, taught us how we should manage our priorities, “when we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.” It is so much easier, and less stressful, to let the little things go and focus on the most important things in life. 

Now when we fold laundry together, I smile and remember how I chose God and my marriage over pride and control.